I Was a U.S. Diplomat and I’m Done Defending America

In my travels across 86 countries in the last 30 years, I have often sparred with foreign nationals who dislike or even despise my country. I joined the Foreign Service a few months after 9/11 and represented America abroad as a diplomat. I was proud to do so, even during the Iraq War, which I vigorously opposed. When I met people from other countries who found fault with U.S. policies, I sometimes agreed with them on a granular level, but I always adamantly rejected the notion that we are a malevolent power that causes more harm than good. But now I’m done defending America.

I recently returned from a trip to Italy. One day, while skiing with my son in the Dolomites, we met a very nice couple who live near Cortina d’Ampezzo. Gianluca, 66, is a retired forest ranger, his wife, Monica, 63, is a retired gym teacher. They ski three days per week and were kind enough to show us some of their favorite runs. At one point, as we glided up a chairlift through this snowy paradise, Gianluca frowned as he turned to me and said, “I have an ugly question I need to ask you. Do you support the war in Iran?”

 I told him that I didn’t and explained that most Americans oppose the war. He and Monica weren’t rabidly Anti-American, but they were baffled by not just the war but also by our President’s rhetoric, which we didn’t attempt to explain. And this conversation was before our bumptious President threatened to obliterate Iran’s civilian infrastructure, before he promised to bomb Iran back to the Stone Ages, before his infamous, “a whole civilization will die tonight,” truth.

The President’s defenders will argue that these threats were negotiating tactics. But the people of Iran will never forget what he said. Perhaps they hate us anyway and it doesn’t matter? Proponents of this war would like us to believe that, constantly repeating claims that Iranians chant “death to America” and “death to Israel.” I haven’t been to Iran, though I have been to Lebanon, where I experienced kindness and hospitality. But I know lots of travelers who have been to Iran. And none experienced anti-American sentiment there, in fact, quite the opposite. Travelers of all nationalities praise the hospitality, called taarof in Persian, of the Iranian people.

Drew Binsky, the American travel YouTuber, who is Jewish and has visited all 193 U.N. countries, has called Iran his favorite country. “My favorite country in the world with the most amazing people who deserve freedom,” he said of Iran.  “I’ve been four times. It’s the most misconceived country in the world. By far it’s the best.” Rick Steves had a rewarding visit to Iran in 2009. “I believe if you’re going to bomb a place, you should know its people first,” he said at the time. “Even if military force is justified, it should hurt when you kill someone.”

But killing Iranians doesn’t hurt any of the architects of the war because none of them have ever been there. Bombing countries you’ve never been to and don’t know a soul in allows one to make fraudulent excuses for the carnage. Those defending lethal U.S. and Israeli terrorist attacks on 763 Iranian schools, 316 health care facilities, along with an unknown number of mosques, apartment buildings and even one synagogue, claim that these were all incidents of collateral damage, bad mistakes. But were they? Let’s take the triple tap Tomahawk missile strikes on the Shajareh Tayyebeh Girls’ School in Minab, which resulted in the deaths of 175 Iranians, most of them schoolgirls, as one horrific example.

A good country would never do such a thing. But even a halfway decent one would at least take responsibility, apologize profusely and pay generous restitution to the families and to rebuild the school. We have done no such thing. In fact, our truculent President bogusly blamed Iran for the attack. A Department of Defense inquiry is ongoing but unnamed officials leaked to media outlets that the strikes were a targeting error. But when the President was asked about it more recently, he remarked, “I don’t know about that.”

The war in Iran comes on the heels of Israel’s attempted genocide in Gaza, which successive administrations essentially cheered on from the sidelines. And so, I decline to endorse the idea that our depravity is 100% a Trump problem, though he, along with Benjamin Netanyahu, is among the most dangerous men on the planet. Nearly all of our politicians have been bribed or intimidated into indulging Bibi’s bloodthirsty, territorial ambitions for a Greater Israel. He is the only world leader capable of inspiring bipartisan standing ovations in Congress and the only one John Fetterman will take off his hoodie and don a suit for. And so, here we are, the perennial wingman for a belligerent country that’s hellbent on destroying all of its neighbors under the guise of fighting terrorism and antisemitism.

Polling numbers for Trump, Bibi and Israel are declining, particularly among young people, however, and that gives me hope.  According to a recent poll from Pew Research, 60% of Americans now have a negative view of Israel, including 57% of Republicans under 50 and 84% of Democrats under 50. 56% of American Jews have little or no confidence in Netanyahu to “do the right thing regarding world affairs,” and just 27% of Americans overall trust him on these matters.  And yet, here in Florida, where I live, our governor has signed legislation, in Israel of all places, criminalizing those who criticize his government.

Those who do not travel rely upon what they see in the media and on social media to form impressions of far-off places. Pro-war news outlets like Fox News have a vested interest in portraying Iranians as rabidly anti-American fanatics. But nearly everyone who visits there comes away with another impression. Make no mistake—the Iranian regime is brutal, and the Iranian people are not free. But that doesn’t mean the people of Iran are our enemies. Iran is a difficult country to visit because the regime isn’t keen on seeing a flood of Western tourists. That’s a shame. Iran will never be on the radar screen of most American travelers, but even a small trickle of visitors who spread the word about their experiences can make a difference.

This summer, I’ll be headed out of the country again, this time to Africa. I won’t pretend I’m not American. But I won’t make excuses for our wicked behavior either. We claim to be trying to prevent bad guys from getting nuclear weapons and fighting terrorism but increasingly we are perceived more like villains. This shouldn’t be surprising when you bully peaceful countries like Denmark because you want to grab Greenland, and Panama, because you want the canal back. Yes, we are the bad guys now, but I am hopeful that change is coming.